Las Vegas Gleaner

Why won't the Newtronium dirty bomb properly explode?

Newt Gingrich's much-touted fatwa against Mittens has thus far frankly failed to meet your Gleaner's hopes and expectations. Gingrich has more or less called Romney a stinky poophead, which is fine, s'pose, but the basis for Newt's conclusion vis-a-vis the fecal characteristics of the Willardian cranium has mostly been confined to the complaint that Willard is not conservative enough.

With one foot already in the general election campaign, Romney probably isn't crying much over allegations that he is insufficiently wingnutty.

Gingrich's super PAC is making noises indicating that it could come through with a loving tribute to Romney's tenure as a job destroyer at Bain Capital. That's the good stuff -- that and the fact that quarter-billionaire Willard Romney pays a tax rate lower than yours. (More on why Nevada should remember that Romney knows lots about the economy, but only its bad parts, in your Gleaner's next CityLife column, btw.)

But Gingrich's super PAC may or may not put the Bain stuff on the teevee. Ditherers. And Newt says Mittens is timid. Sheesh.

First Newt says he's going to be nice, and that's a lie. Then he says he's going to be mean. Will that be a lie too? Is Gingrich such a liar that we can't even believe he is lying when he is lying?

Sandoval & Co. should apologize for wimping out, depriving Nevada of Newt

At least Newtron's going out as old Newt, for the ratings. But just look at the sort of thing poor forgotten Nevada is missing:

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, whose support in Iowa has withered after riding on top of the polls, on Tuesday called former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney a liar who would mislead the American people if elected to the White House - but added that he would still vote for him if Romney won the GOP nomination.

Makes sense. If Republicans refused to vote for liars, no Republican candidate would ever be elected to anything ever again.

Anyway, if the Nevada Republicans hadn't decided to basically cancel their caucus as a going concern because some tinpot career politician in a lightly populated Boston exurb told them to, fun discussions such as the following about America's future could have been happening right here in Nevada:

CBS's Norah O'Donnell:"You scolded Mitt Romney, his friends who are running this Super PAC that has funded that, and you said of Mitt Romney, 'Someone who will lie to you to get to be president will lie to you when they are president.' I have to ask you, are you calling Mitt Romney a liar?"

Gingrich: ""Yes."

O'Donnell: "You're calling Mitt Romney a liar?"

Gingrich: "Well, you seem shocked by it. Yes."

Damn you, Nevada Republicans! Who knows if Newt or any of the other loons and twerps running for the GOP nomination will still be standing by the time they slog through South Carolina and Florida and the freak show finally makes it to Nevada next month, if it comes at all?

Sure, Willard will likely grace us with his presence. And so will doctor, congressman and erstwhile publisher of Racism, Homophobia and You, Ron Paul, presumably, since he'll try to stay in the race forever "for the cause." But no matter how entertaining any prospective attacks on Romney from Paul, a contest between just those guys would be a mere curiosity greeted by the nation and its media with a collective "meh."

And -- and! -- Newt and other hopeful anti-Romneys are focusing on South Carolina and more or less taking a pass on New Hampshire in the belief that Mittens has the latter nailed down. But if Gov. Brian Sandoval and Nevada's Republicans had demonstrated even a glimmer of pride in their state and refused to move their caucuses back to February, Nevada, not South Carolina, could have been the next place where Newt, frothy Santorum and the rest take it to Willard.

But no.

Nevada Republican National Committeeman Bob List, Jerry Tarkanian's daughter-in-law, who also chairs the state Republican Party, and especially the wildly overrated Sandoval, along with any and all other Republicans who bear responsibilitiy for this fiasco, should issue a formal apology to all of Nevada for letting their state down in such an ignominious and cowardly fashion. Losers.

Sigh. Since there is every chance that the Nevada Republican caucus will be both boring and pointless, maybe Harry Reid should fire up The Machine so everybody can have some fun.Secretly get tens of thousands (it shouldn't take that many) of Nevada Democrats to switch parties and caucus on the GOP side for ... oh, I don't know, Sharron Angle. Or The Wayner. Or Carrot Top, who is always a good suggestion for this sort of thing. "Carrot Top edges Romney in NV GOP caucuses." Who doesn't want to see that headline on Politico?

Gingrich greatly relieved by collapse of Gingrich campaign

"Romney would buy the election if he could," Newt Gingrich said while milking the very last bit of attention out of a months-long book tour and marketing push that succeeded far more than he ever might have hoped.

It is of course absolutely true that Willard would buy the White House and move in if he could. And that's a key difference between Mitt and Newt. Were it possible to buy the presidency (in total and all at once, as opposed to the traditional piecemeal form of purchase and possession exercised by the likes of Goldman Sachs and Citigroup), Willard would buy it. In stark contrast, Gingrich would have Nevada megalomaniac Sheldon Adelson buy it for him.

But that assumes Gingrich was running for president.

He launched a non-serious campaign as a stunt to attract attention to himself and his assorted revenue streams, and to soften up gullible wingnut marks for whatever fly-by-night send-money-to-Newt scam he cooks up as soon as he's officially out of the presidential race.

Idle speculation!!!!: Gingrich refrained from going negative in Iowa not because he's not a negative person (he is) and not because he couldn't afford it (his super PAC could have fought back, but ran puff pieces instead), and not even because he thought it was a winning strategy (he's not that naive).

The reason Gingrich and his PAC didn't run negative ads in Iowa is because when he found himself at the top of the polls for a few minutes there, he was terrified that desperate and paranoid Republican voters were such nimrods that they may actually nominate him for the presidency. That was never part of the plan, and more work and pressure than Gingrich would ever care to endure. When Gingrich saw that the rest of the candidates and their super PAC ads were successfully explaining (some of the reasons) why the last person they would want to nominate for president is Gingrich, no one was more relieved than Newton Leroy Gingrich.

And maybe NOW Roger Ailes will let Gingrich have his own show.