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You are wrong. Sure, M. Obama was "great" and "inspirational." But I was picking up what the Tampa group was laying down. I get no deficit, more jobs, better education, stronger defense, improved sex drive, a larger sex organ, less belly fat, a rich uncle in Nigeria who wants to give me his fortune, a bra that can turn my small breasts into gigantic melons, better sleep, AND a knife that will not only cut my sneaker in half, but also slice a tomato. All of this I get for simply agreeing to pay less tax. That, sir, is something to get enthusiastic about. Maybe you are not as excited as I am about a larger sex organ and bigger boobs, but I assure the amount of lonely time I spend, both will be a welcomed addition.
So you get excited about your "First Lady" that "makes sense" and is "genuine" and "sincere." I am going to agree to my tax cut and when you see me wearing half-sneakers and a tube top with two cannons, know this: I have a great job, my kids are in a great school, I am packing down there (if you know what I mean), and I will just softly whisper to you, "I'm well rested, rich, thin, just ate a thinly sliced tomato salad, and I TOLD YOU SO."

You're joking, right?

"Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted..." That's a joke.

A person standing in half sneakers in a tube top with big boobs and a big you-know-what, eating a thinly sliced tomato salad is deadly serious.

Irony, you are a fickle mistress...

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