Behold as the embattled 'Do tries to push back against the horrible news all of which indicates that he's a scoundrel, a liar and a prick and a doomed one to boot!
First, here's a statement (via Ralston) from Ensign's lawyer on how $96,000 fell out of the sky on the Hamptons because Ensign's parents are So Darned Nice!
After the Senator told his parents about the affair, his parents decided to make the gifts out of concern for the well-being of long-time family friends during a difficult time. The gifts are consistent with a pattern of generosity by the Ensign family to the Hamptons and others.
None of the gifts came from campaign or official funds nor were they related to any campaign or official duties. Senator Ensign has complied with all applicable laws and Senate ethics rules.
Ha! Ensign dragged his parents into the scandal. EPIC FAIL! And still counting on daddy's money to get him out of trouble like, oh, a spoiled, date-raping frat boy? "Please, mommy and daddy, don't let the mean woman make my political career all poopy." Grow up, Hairdo McToast, you're 51 years old. And for about seventeen minutes there you were a minor somebody in the Party of Personal Responsibility. Disgusting.
But see how the rich throw their money around? Out of the goodness of their hearts AND totally legally always!
Meantime, Ensign is still pretending that he can be a senator and says he won't resign. Does he mean it? Is he really so obtuse that he thinks he can survive? Well, to quote John Ensign, "if I didn't, I'd lie."
"Son, how much was Vitter paying?"
"$500 for the 50/50, $1000 for the night, Dad."
"How about Spitzer?"
"Like, 3 grand."
"Son, $96,000 seems like a lot for a piece of tail, the other guys seem to be getting it for less. Spitzer's girl is hot too. Yours is married with kids and in her 50s?"
"But Dad, I want it!!!!"
"Ok, Son, Ok. But you are a U.S. Senator and a veterinarian. I am giving you $100,000 to go get laid. Are you sure this is where you want to spend it? I mean, you could really do some wonderful things here. Epic. Really some top notch porn-type stuff. Rap-video type stuff. I don't think Sarkozy paid $96,000"
"Dad!"
Posted by: Goldy | 07/09/2009 at 01:27 PM
Stick a fork in it. Ensign's political future is dead. If he doesn't resign, I'm sure it won't be too hard for Dems to find someone to kick his cheatin' heart out of The Capitol.
Posted by: atdleft | 07/09/2009 at 02:54 PM
.
..
...AS I responded to the similar RJ story, Daddy Warbucks wrote four maximum checks at 12K apiece for 96K total..??? Duhh, Apparently Daddy never worked the craps tables or majored in math..?
Posted by: ....Temujin... Khan..of..the..Yakka..Mongols... | 07/09/2009 at 03:19 PM
Temujin,
EACH. Four checks of 12K EACH.
Posted by: Stoner Assist Hotline | 07/09/2009 at 03:36 PM
.
..
...Leather-head play of the game 56 seconds left 4th quarter...
...South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford resigns moves to sideline...
...South Carolina Lt. Governor Andre Bauer moves to Governor position..
...Nevada Senator John Ensign resigns and runs to right post pattern..
...Governor Jim Gibbons appoints Mark Sanford as Nevada Senator replacing Ensign..
...South Carolina governor appoints John Ensign as Lieutenant Governor...
...Ex Alaska Senator Larry Craig wiggles his toes in visiting team's locker room..
...Sarah Palin sells fishcakes in the stands..
...Let's go, On three...set.. hut.. hut.. hut
..
.
Posted by: ....Temujin... Khan..of..the..Yakka..Mongols... | 07/09/2009 at 04:23 PM
I wonder how many Democrats wish they would have thrown the Reid/Ensign Non-Aggression Pact to the wind and gone ahead and ousted Hairdo in 2006 when we had the chance?
I also wonder how Uncle Harry is going to try to help his old pal Ensign out of this bind?
Posted by: Abbie Hoffman | 07/09/2009 at 04:29 PM
CNN.com has this now.
Another proud day for Nevada!
Posted by: The Penguin | 07/09/2009 at 04:29 PM
actually we didnt have a chance with Carter... Reids celebrity wouldnt have been enough to propel carter in to office... the marijuana campaign got more votes than carter.. but how come no one is calling for ensigns resignation?
Posted by: Johnny come lately | 07/09/2009 at 04:51 PM
@Goldy
WIN !
Posted by: Scorpiogal | 07/09/2009 at 05:14 PM
Makes one proud to be a Nevadan. NOT!!!!!
Posted by: Rich | 07/09/2009 at 05:19 PM
Rich-
Turn on MSNBC now. Keith Olbermann had already mentioned Ensign-gate, and now Rachel Maddow's talking about it... And she'll have Jon Ralston on the show tonight!
Hey, why didn't Rachel or Keith call Mr. Gleaner? ;-)
Posted by: atdleft | 07/09/2009 at 06:03 PM
We want to see our Gleaner on national TeeVee!!!
So Ensign resigns, Gibbons appoints himself or another moran and one of our bench wins the special election in 2010. Woo-hoo.
I do feel sorry for the embarrassment suffered by the six adolescents involved.
Posted by: Tailspinterry | 07/09/2009 at 06:17 PM
Terry-
YES! I'd love to see Keith or Rachel bring our whole favorite panel of bloggers: Mr. Gleaner, Mr. Tea Room, Desert Beacon, Steve Sebelius, and whoever else is awesome that I'm forgetting. Not only would America learn that we're not all fundie wingnut hypocrites in Nevada, but also learn all about Hairdo McWedgeshot, Goddy McGod, the mystique of the silver mane... Oh yes, and Ensign's lack of interest in real public policy. ;-)
Posted by: atdleft | 07/09/2009 at 06:42 PM
"actually we didnt have a chance with Carter... Reids celebrity wouldnt have been enough to propel carter in to office"
Most impressive. Now for the reality...
Reid prevented any credible Nevada candidate from running. Then, when Carter decided to run, Reid effectively prevented him from raising serious money here. If not for his father helping him raise out of state money, he wouldn't have raised any. Carter never had a chance PRECISELY BECAUSE OF REID. And yes, he was not the strongest possible candidate - but that entirely misses the point.
Now go finish that big glass of Kool-Aid and run along and help Rory Reid become governor.
Posted by: A dose of reality | 07/09/2009 at 08:45 PM
Dear Dose of Reality:
Can you document your statements?
Posted by: Nevada Ned | 07/09/2009 at 09:38 PM
What you don't understand, voters have short term and long term moemory loss. What Ensign and family did was wrong, very wrong. However, look at all the scumbags in congress who get free passes- Ted Kennedy killed a girl, Robert Byrd was a member of the KKK, Charlie Rangle and all of his problems, Larry Craig, Harry Reid and his financial dealings and the list can go on and on for both parties.
The power of advertisement and voters willing to forgive and forget will allow Ensign to be remain a Senator.
Posted by: Dan | 07/10/2009 at 01:38 AM
Dear Ned:
How soon we forget:
http://www.lasvegasgleaner.com/las_vegas_gleaner/2006/04/when_harry_reid.html
Have a nice day.
Posted by: A dose of reality | 07/16/2009 at 07:03 PM