John Ensign is the most interesting man in the world!

He's a family man, a businessman, an animal lover and a free spirit -- a "consistently popular" "golden boy" who is not only "handsome" but "savvy" and, no doubt because he is so "exceptionally hard-working," he was able to overcome adversity to become a "self-made" "rising star."

The lengthy profile of holy roller John Ensign in Sunday's R-J must have only heightened Nevadans' outrage over the revelation that the senator slept with his friend's wife and tried to hush it up with cash and and crony-supplied prizes: What a shame that such a talented, wonderful, able, unique and simply magnificent man has been laid low by the taint of tawdry scandal. Boo hoo, no?

It is of course impossible to do a politician's biography justice in the confines of a single newspaper article. There are bound to be omissions. Still, Ensign's achievements as a lawmaker were given curiously short shrift in the R-J piece. After all, John Ensign, and only John Ensign, can fairly claim as the crowning accomplishment of his legislative record a law that makes it a crime to carry a rooster across state lines for a cockfight.

Having no impact whatsoever on the Yucca Mountain issue, putting petty partisan gamesmanship ahead of the interest of his own constituents, demonstrating profound ignorance of and/or cavalier disregard for his own state's financial crisis, flat-out making stuff up to discredit the hotel-gambling labor force that has done so much to enrich him and his family, openly crowing about Katrina's forced displacement of tens of thousands of Democratic voters as a political silver lining for the GOP -- those are merely some of the entries that might be used as starters on a list of items highlighting Ensign's political career.

But while the R-J didn't mention any of those things, patient readers who lasted deep, deep into the gentle profile of their junior senator were rewarded with this item about Ensign's sleeping around:

"This has been an ongoing situation in their marriage," said one old friend who spoke on condition of anonymity. "He always had this proclivity..."

That of course dovetails with the AP report that Ensign's 2002 disappearance "followed an earlier affair," and is yet another reason why the press must continue to well, press Ensign to address the charges that Cindy Hampton was not, as he put it in his public confession, the worst thing he's ever done, but merely the worst thing he's ever done lately. Get him on the record -- hopefully denying any earlier affairs of course. Then when the evidence to the contrary comes out, he can be truly toasted and duly ousted, and Nevada can rid itself of the boy senator once and for all.

Comments

[VegasTeaRoom]

John Ensign, liar.
He lied about his past adultery.
He lied about his present adultery.
He has lied to his wife.
He has lied to his family.
He has lied to his constituency.
He has lied to Jesus Christ Himself.
John Ensign, liar.

[atdleft]

Mr. TeaRoom-

I couldn't have said it better.

Mr. Gleaner-

"He always had this proclivity..."

Isn't this his biggest accomplishment so far?

"Ensign's sleeping around"

It must be either this or Hairdo's famous 'do. What else does he have?

[judy]

"He always had this proclivity..."

OK, so the man has always been a lying, cheating whore....

As for his achievements in Congress? Squat... he tried hanging on Reid's coat tails but that only pissed off his fellow "promise keepers".

Ensign was worthless, you pegged it Gleaner.

[Rich]

@Judy = Was? Is! But sadly he'll be re-elected by the closed minds here.

[Gus]

What impressed (as in disgusted) me the most was the part where he started going to Promise Keepers at the suggestion of his wife, who knew he needed help, as early as 1993. And that led himi to join an anti-modern church where he met Steve Wark and ran for Congress.

So the point is, he's not even a standard Elmer Gantry who became a fundy to gain political advancement -- he did it to cover up his infidelity. And the political opportunism was just a fringe benefit, so to speak.

[Goldy]

I like that he didn't reveal the affair until the demands from the Hampton's (including Doug) became "outragous." That implies that prior demands were "reasonable" and Doug was making them. In essence, he essentially was selling his willing wife, and Ensign was buying, until the number got too high. So, like most things, this entire deal was really just about the number.

[....Temujin... Khan..of..the..Yakka..Mongols...]

.
..
...Recent studies at Tufts University proved their lab assistants working with guinea pigs and bunny rabbits became overs sexed due to inhalation from bunny food dust.

...This led to after hours affairs in the veterinary laboratories and thefts of Playboy magazines from the college bookstore..

...Ahh.. ba. de...ba.de...ba.de...that's all folks.....

[VegasTeaRoom]

I believe that Gays and Lesbians have just as much right to fuck up a marriage as two faced, two girl friended (minimum) John Ensign.

And can anybody photoshop the above sign so that the second r is a c?

Pretty please?

[Jason]

There's a reason, doncha know, why Ensign & Co. won't call some of us back. My kingdom for a plane ticket to DC.

[atdleft]

Mr. TeaRoom-

Stop! You're making me ROTFLMAO! Oh, except the last part about that sign. I'd rather not think of Hairdo's ding-dong. YUCK!

Rich-

Don't give up so soon. We can get rid of Hairdo. If you want, I'll let you personally register me to vote in Nevada (yes, I still need to do that once I get back) and I'll give a little $ in your honor so we can dump The 'Do.

Hey, we now have a new slogan! Mr. Gleaner, would you please make a "Dump The 'Do" photoshop for us? ;-)

[VegasTeaRoom]

Dear atdleft,

Thinking about this silver daddy's ding-dong is one of my favorite pastimes. He may be stupid, he may be vain, he may be a lyin' two faced cheating bastard but, hell, I'd do him in a heartbeat.

In fact, THAT is his only redeeming quality: fuckability.

[The Penguin]

TeaRoom -- is Ensign a top, bottom, or vers?

[Rich]

@Penguin - Yes!

[atdleft]

Mr. TeaRoom-

Sorry, but I can't. I've occasionally had weird crushes on GOP pols, but I've always felt dirty just thinking about it. I know a number of these H8er hypocrites are into crazy BDSM and all other wild sex acts, but I just couldn't handle all the self-loathing fueling their libidos.

Besides, I'm sure you'll find a much better guy much more deserving of your attention. ;-)

Penguin-

Ewwwww! I don't even want to imagine a Hairdo sex video. His would probably make Paris Hilton's sex vid look interesting. :-p

[VegasTeaRoom]

Here is a little psycho babble:

Any heterosexual that goes after a good friend's wife is really exerting a homosexual desire to conquest the husband/friend. The woman is just the transitive vehicle.

I get all throbby thinking about it.

In my fantasy, he's versatile; a rough dominating top that turns into a greasy little bottom piggy.

Ah, such are the things that dreams are made of. Oh, yeah, that and shaved balls:)

[lurker]

he's probably a silverback, TeaRoom (if you catch my drift...)

[VegasTeaRoom]

lurker, drift caught:)

I'd still like to drip some sweat on his face.

[Jerry]

Look who's calling Ensign and his ilk a bunch of "flat-assed stiffs"
http://www.girlfriendsguide.com/site/?p=77

[Jackson]

If the alleged affair with Traci (his press secretary in 2002) is true then it establishes a pattern of sexual harrasment by the Senator. Traci eventually lost her job, but Ensign got her a job with the Slankers to get her mouth shut.