Las Vegas Gleaner

Count all the votes ... that are "going to count for anything"

In honor of the Democratic National Committee's Rules and Bylaws Committee meeting to determine whether the rules and bylaws actually, you know, mean anything or are, as pirates say in Disney movies, really more of a guideline, lowly Gleaner will take this opportunity to link to the famous audio clip (via Jabberwonk) from the person vying to be the first woman president whose husband was president first, in which the most active of America's former first ladies was recorded having the following exchange:

New Hampshire Public Radio's Laura Knoy: "So, if you value the DNC calendar, why not just pull out of Michigan? Why not just say, Hey Michigan, I'm off the ballot?"

Hillary Clinton: "Well, you know, It's clear, this election they're having is not going to count for anything."

Now of course the erstwhile inevitable and once-mighty Borg is contending that not counting Michigan's votes would undo every accomplishment won over the last 50 years by the civil rights movement at home and the spread of democracy abroad. Combined.

Is she shamelessy and cynically flip-flopping because, as her harshest critics contend, she will simply say or do anything to advance her own personal ambitions and thirst for power, no matter what the consequences to her party, her country or the people of the entire world, even it if means Obama's defeat in the general election and a continuation of catastrophic and pernicious Bush policies?

Is she that consumed with her own importance, that obsessed with her own sense of entitlement, that unhinged?

To quote another famous statement from the former first lady — a statement that perhaps more than any other summed up exactly what her her long and magnificent quest for the presidency was all about — not "as far as I know."

America's Lamest Not-Living-At-Home Videos

A high school function packed with a generation of parents dedicated to committing every single moment of their children's tiresomely uninteresting lives to video for posterity, a governor and the woman he definitely is not having an affair with is on hand, and the best anybody comes up with is this?

Where's Tom Bergeron when Nevada needs him?

Come on, people. Jeesh.

Miniglean: McCain-Gibbons in '08!

• Despite the deep ideological, moral and professional bonds between the nation's worst governor and the nation's oldest presidential candidate — bonds nurtured by their shared reliance on the same beloved political adviser — Nevada has inexplicably dropped from second down to fourth in a beltway expert-texpert's arbitrary and capricious list of states likely to vote differently, president-wise, in 2008 than they did in 2004. WaPo
• The First Castaway, appearing at a local awareness-raising do-goodish event, was resplendent in her new capacity as a role model for middle-aged women and a feminist cause celebre. RJ
• Meantime, her lawyer loves to see his name in the paper (RGJ). Thankfully.
• Nation's worst governor is "Today's Must Read" at TPM. Actually, it was probably Wednesday's must-read, but whatever.
• Monger is polling on who is likely to replace Gibbons. Curiously, Dawn isn't on the list. Also note the going out o' bidness sign on Monger's banner. Yes, bittersweet.
• The Sun's story about erstwhile Obama fundraiser Tony Rezko's gambling problem goes sort of national (AP, Chicago Sun-Times, LAT). Conspicuously absent: The customary heartfelt industry assertions about how casino executives absolutely positively do not want any problem gamblers in their casinos — especially problem gamblers who don't or can't pay their debts.
• "One gaming industry observer said the control board, the agency tasked with regulating Nevada's nearly 3,000 restricted and nonrestricted gaming licensees, is not like other state agencies, where programs and projects can be eliminated or reduced" (RJ). Shallow, but callous. And just one more reason that the gambling industry should pay the entire cost of operating its state regulatory agency subsidiary instead of soaking up $35 million from the general fund.

Gibbons vows to be nation's worst governor forever and ever

From AP:

Asked whether the divorce he's seeking and the resulting publicity has had an impact on his ability to serve as governor, Gibbons said, "None. Not a bit," and then walked away from reporters at the news conference that began with him discussing wildland fires in Nevada.

Later Thursday, in a KKOH-Reno radio interview with conservative talk show host Bill Manders, the first-term Republican governor again said the divorce action isn't distracting him from his job—and "I plan to run again. ... You can take it to the bank."

Well, that's assuming of course that he doesn't get tabbed to be John McCain's running mate.

Along comes His Lordship...

Perhaps sensing that the nation's worst governor is just about floating belly up or very nearly dead meat or whatever other deceased-animal metaphor seems appropriate, Lord High Chancellor Jim Rogers attacks.

In a memo to regents Thursday, Rogers basically mocks the idiocy of the governor's stubborn and unimaginative plan to deal with a budget shortfall by just gutting stuff. Rogers also details the grim ramifications of the Gibbons agenda (also known as the Gibbons-Beers agenda) on higher education.

What to do, what to do?

Some of Rogers' more grisly if not to be taken seriously suggestions include but are not limited to: kill the law school; close the College of Southern Nevada; axe sports; close some community colleges; etc.

Or we can just let all the institutions get worse and worse and worse, which seems to be the preferred alternative 'round here.

Meantime, over the long term...

"I have suggested on numerous occasions that the State adopt a general business tax. Not much has come from this idea and at this point, it may be too late to enact meaningful taxes to solve the current disaster anticipated in the next biennium. The 2009 Legislature and our current Governor will bear that burden."

Rogers seems to think Gibbons will still be governor by the time the legislature meets next year. So that's strange.

Stranger still, of course, is the chancellor's hope, however faint, that the Democrats in the Legislature might support — even if belatedly —such a sensible plan as imposing taxes on businesses that currently pay none. And you thought the Gleaner was ground zero for naive optimism.

Bob Beers channels Tammy Wynette

And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

    — (Tammy Wynette and Billy Sherrill, 1968)

Thank goodness for state senator and area media darling Bob Beers.

While lesser Nevada Republicans scramble to distance themselves from their own governor just because he's the nation's worst and a cheating liar and basically disgraced and pretty much a pathetic pitiful laughingstock, Beers stepped up to the plate and suggested to the Sun that now is not the time to cut and run:

Sen. Bob Beers, R-Las Vegas, intimated that the governor and his allies would begin fighting back.

“All I see so far is that he has wanted to keep this out of public discussion, which is the normal reaction given they have a son and family members potentially embarrassed by whatever ‘he said/she said’ is involved. That kind of discretion takes two, and it appears Mrs. Gibbons has no interest in that. I imagine sometime in the next couple of days, we’ll see the ‘he said’ portion of it.”

Bold? Perhaps. But at the risk of sounding cynical, it's also part of Beers' very own sophisticated political strategy designed to endear himself with voters by, um, clinging to Gibbons.

It should not be forgotten that Beers is a stalwart champion — nay, the stalwart champion — in the legislature of the Gibbons agenda to frolic mirthfully as the state's education system, highways and safety net crumble into life-threatening and quality-of-life-ruining disrepair. In fact, Beers so enthusiastically endorses that agenda and is so keen to be identified with it and, by extension, the governor, that he would prefer it if everyone would quit calling it the Gibbons agenda and start referring to it more properly and accurately as the "Gibbons-Beers" agenda.

Meantime, in other hilarious news about the nation's most ridiculous governor, both the RJ and the RGJ trot out Kathy Karrasch, the hapless woman who, in defiance of all that is good and rational, apparently finds the nation's creepiest governor somehow desirable. Eh, call the Gleaner old-fashioned, but unless and until it is revealed that she is the recipient of a juicy contract involving lots of public money and no work — you know, the sort of gig the nation's worst governor landed for his wife the First Castaway back when he was the nation's most obscure congressman — the affair itself, not the identify of the woman, is the thing. Whether its Kathy Karrasch the podiatrist's wife or Malicifent Bumdiddle the cobbler's daughter seems a bit of neither here nor there.

That is not to say that if pictures arrive in the Gleaner's inbox proving that the desperately misguided soul is in fact a dead ringer for Chrissy Mazzeo, they wouldn't be published in this little corner of the cyberwasteland, you know, instantly.

Miniglean

• Now that Nevada's First Cheated-On Lady has told a judge that the nation's worst governor is a stinky poophead (AP, RJ, RGJ), that makes it official, so the mainstream media can write about the extramarital affair that the nation's creepiest governor definitely is not definitely is or is not having without pretending to feel all ooky and sensie about it. Let er' rip, boys and girls.
• First he blindly and stupidly yet proudly joined the chorus and voted to send U.S. troops to invade Iraq in the the biggest blunder of Our Times. Then he said he wants to keep them there for 100 years, which may not seem like much to him but is a mighty long spell to people who were born after Herr Henlein invented the pocket watch in 1510. So it comes as no surprise that now John McCain wants to send Barack Obama to Iraq, too (WaPo, CNN).
• McCain stubbornly campaigning for Bush's third term in Reno (KLAS, AP) should get knocked right out of the lead story slot in the local media, anyway, 'cause of other, better stuff. Gracias, Dawn.
• Look where McCain is spending money — or isn't. Hotline
• Belated shout out to venerable Reno scribe Dennis Myers, who takes Bob Woodward to the woodshed for being exactly the sort of media tool that little Scotty McClellan apparently complains about in his new book, and gets written up by E&P for the effort.
• Crazy DNC will let anybody sit on their rules committee. Sun

Sigh

Nevada's governor, the nation's worst, is a cowardly drunken lying womanizer and a thoroughly dishonorable cad, his wife explains.

Ah, good times.

But just imagine how much more fun all of this would be if the Democrats had an agenda.

The hits just keep on coming

UPDATE: OK, after reading a little further, the Gleaner would like to make something perfectly clear — DROP WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING AND READ DAWN'S MOTION NOW.

*   *   *

Dawn Gibbons filed a motion with the court in her effort to get the proceedings surrounding her divorce from the nation's worst governor opened up for all of us to see and be amused by (the motion is helpfully linked by Dawn's new BFF).

Oh look, right up toward the front:

"Truth, despite his disingenuous, shallow and transparent protestations that his relationship with another man's wife is a mere friendship, his infatuation and involvement with the other woman is the real, concealed and undisclosed reason for his voluntary departure from the marriage and from the Mansion where he occasionally resided."

There's more more more. But one quick note: "Infatuation" seems a particularly nice touch on the part of Dawn's lawyer Mr. Dunlap, don't you agree.

Harmless fun for the whole family

Connect with Latinos, hammer "kitchen table" issues, be tough on McCain — a pretty snazzy tripartite analysis near the top of Patrick Coolican's story on the strategery behind Obama-wan's visit to Southern Nevada, no?

But this ...

... if Obama can’t win Ohio or Florida, which have been difficult for Democratic presidential nominees in recent election cycles, he must win three of the following four states: Nevada, Colorado, New Mexico and New Hampshire, though a Virginia or North Carolina victory would make the West less necessary.

...is bravely sidling up to the pit of electoral college speculative arithmetic and then stepping, nay, jumping, in head-first.

Hey, let's all play!

Goodness, no, one mustn't denigrate Nevada's undisputed role as the most important place in the whole galaxy now and forever. For that matter, nor would it be wise to play down the crucial influence that Colorado and New Mexico — and oh all right and New Hampshire too — might have on the election outcome.

But "must win" three of four? Eh, not so much.

For instance, not only would a Virginia or NC win make the West less necessary. Those states taken together, or either one of them coupled with a victory in Iowa, would effectively assign the interior West the same manner of status that it has enjoyed for lo these many decades: obscure, yet irrelevant.

Competitive surges in Georgia and South Carolina might also render Obama and/or McCain sitings a tad less common 'round here down the stretch. Yes, that would be sad — for no one more than advertising sales executives at the local teevee stations who have the most to gain, literally, from the campaign process.

When it comes to divining which battleground states will go which way, the high-dollar political consultants are only marginally less clueless than armchair political junkies with websites, so the campaigns go wherever the getting seems good, especially early.

And it would be mighty surprising if NV, NM and CO weren't still in the running as election day nears — unless, that is, Obama already has them wrapped up by then.

Just saying that all sorts of goofy stuff can happen, as anyone can see by tinkering with the interactive Electoral College Calculator. It's fun for the home, office, at school or anyplace where people are dedicated to pointlessly frittering away time on the internets.