Conservatives now must grapple with The Big Question: Do they still amuse?

There might not seem much point anymore in making fun of conservatives -- really, um, why bother?

But even if they were totally irrelevant, it would still be worth laughing at them if for no other reason than, well, just because.

And besides, they're not totally irrelevant. For instance, wingnuts in the Senate -- like Nevada's Hairdo McWedgeshot -- have nothing, nada, zip to say about how to help the American economy recover from the mess conservatives got it in with all their deregulatory zeal and putting politics first. But they do have the potential to make sure that nobody else's ideas get a chance to work. Should we challenge their patriotism? Later perhaps. Meantime, I make fun of the Hairdo and one or two other useless Republicans in my latest CityLife column.

Of course, some conservatives are totally, comprehensively and laughably irrelevant -- and perhaps none more so than hapless true believers in the U.S. House of Representatives like Dean Heller. Simply, there is no reason for anyone anywhere to pay any attention whatsoever to anything Heller says or does in his capacity as a member of Congress. If he sees any pathway to the Republican nomination for governor, you gotta believe he's scurrying in that direction.

Another Republican with nothing postiive to contribute to anything (save of course the occasional entertaining headline) is the vile sociopath currently occupying the governor's mansion, Gov. Jim Gibbons. The Obama administration, by virtue of not being batshit crazy, is expected to have a much more collaborative approach to states, as opposed to the ineptitude and outright hostility that characterized Bush's relationship with states (and every other entity and/or personage with which Bush, himself a vile sociopath, came into contact). For instance, new economic stimulus packages are almost assuredly going to include assistance for cash-strapped states and financing for backlogged state infrastructure projects. Gibbons, who is deeply emotionally imbalanced, has neither the competence nor the temperament to be Nevada's primary point of contact with the new administration as it tries to enlist states in economic recovery efforts. But then, the Democrats in the state's congressional delegation and the Legislature know that and will act accordingly and in concert to assure that Nevada's interests are articulated and protected, Gibbons's incoherence notwithstanding. Right?

In other news about the crumbling fortunes of conservative assclowns, bitchy little area megalomaniac Sheldon Adelson is flirting with bankruptcy or some damned thing. Good. His Las Vegas properties are already built, so if he goes belly up (all blowfish-like, in his case) it's not like there will be a gaping hole somewhere. Some other company could pick up the Venetian and Palazzo for a good price, preferably a company that is a) more interested in running hotels and casinos than bankrolling conservative politicians who might be sympathetic to launching a nuclear strike on Iran, and b) will turn the Venetian and Palazzo into union properties instead of waging jihad against the one force -- organized labor -- without which Las Vegas would be a resort corridor flanked by ghettos. Of course, if the bitchy little area megalomaniac is shuffled off to obscurity, that means that whatever is left of the Nevada Republican Party will have to find a new headquarters.

Oh yeah ... Lieberman. Fuck him. The rat fart can't be trusted and you know he's going to vote however his perverse rationalizations tell him to vote on this or that bill whether he's got a committee chairmanship or not. Not only should he be stripped of his committee chairmanship, he should be stripped of committee assignments, which I guess would force him to run to Hairdo's open arms and let Republicans assign him to committees. But then Democratic committee chairs should never recognize Lieberman when he wants to talk. And Democrats should do whatever they can to keep him from ever having an opportunity to speak on the Senate floor. Or they should leave the chamber when he is speaking. And of course they should never, ever talk with him in any setting, be it personal, professional or during an elevator ride. Reid shouldn't have talked with him Thursday. Reid shouldn't even send him a note telling him he's no longer recognized as caucusing with the Democrats. From here on out, Reid and his Democratic colleagues should just pretend that there is no slithering sub-human farce named Joe Lieberman. With luck, Lieberman will cry, whine and snivel to Sean Hannity some and then get the point and resign.

Finally, apropos of nothing -- Republican pollster/apologist Frank Luntz says he's been in Las Vegas schools "and they frighten me." I always knew Luntz was a pussy.

Comments

[Patrick]

Speaking of ammusing, having no facts to back up your rhetoric gives me a good shot of laughter each morning. I love you guys!

[Not Bob]

Maybe Addelson should ask his Congressional representatives to see if they can help him get a bailout? AFter all, why wouldn't Shelley Berkeley and Dina Titus want to help him?

In a related story to Adelson's bankruptcy, why would Luntz care about the schools? why does he care about the schools? He doesn't have kids. He is, as usual, blowing steam out his ass. The only reason he won't move here now is because Sheldey can no longer afford to pay him the massive sums he was likely promised 6 months ago.

[CoyoteMan]

Ohhh poor Adelson! (gets out his crying towel and wrings it out) He's losing money and the Chinese have cut off his Macau projects and his access.
Ohh pooor baby!
Stop bitching Adelson just because you don't want to pay taxes on your blood money!
Grow the fuck up!

[The Penguin]

The real problem for what passes as Conservatives these days is that they are likely to take these results and, instead of thinking about what to do to make themselves more relevant to the public, will instead retreat further to the right -- i.e., allow the Christian wing of the party to become even more dominant that the moderate, common-sense wing.

You know, the real conservatives who truly, earnestly believe in limited government on all fronts (both in terms if fiscal responsibility and keeping their noses out of everyone's bedrooms) as opposed to the buffoons who just want to make war on A-rabs, gays, public library systems and edjumacated people.

What you might see in the coming months is a Republican Party that will either realize the error of its ways in aligning itself with the social conservatives and become true conservative; or, a Republican Party that will revert to cornered-animal mode, all frothing at the mouth, and emerge in an even more fascistic form than what you have now.

Or, maybe, the party will split in two, like the Democrats did in the early 60s. We do indeed live in interesting times.

[Libra Dude]

Fuck Joe Lieberman and the horse he rode in on. I think the good people of CT will send him packing on his next bid to be a professional Senator. They dumped Shea and next it will the putz Traitor Joe.

[Patrick]

Penguin, the problem is those type of Republicans you like (Goldwater Republicans)you guys will still call ideologues and zelots.

I'm not even a Republican and I've been called worse than that on here.

[Patrick]

I should also note that Republicans do not hold a monopoly on the Christian vote. The Christian vote has swung a little more toward Democrats as both African Americans and Latinos are highly religious.

On a side note, Christians in Europe are often left of center (they used to be allied with progressives in the pre 1950s USA too).

Also, Democrats seem more interested in regulating airways (radio and TV) than Republicans, contrary to popular opinion.

[cynicalgirl]

My prediction: As the American mainstream mellows out and becomes more progressive, we'll see a small clot of ultra-righties become a fearful, cloistered little redneck subculture of wackjob extremism. Maybe we'll even see a mass exodus to Alaska.

Sarah Palin's Monster Truck VP rallies were just the beginning.

Plenty to laugh at, Gleaner. You need not worry about lacking material!

[dave404]

mr. Gleaner;
Good job this morning!

[Chuck Meth]

You should start a blog Patrick. Then you could bore the fuck out of readers of your very own.

[CJ]

You're right Chuck...Patrick bores the fuck out me too. As usual the Gleaner's commentrary hits the bullseye and Patrick simplistically spouts some bullshit that makes no sense at all.

And as far as the GOPER futures...Bush killed the Republican party...that's his legacy to bear...and the reason for all the tears.

[The Penguin]

CJ, let's not count the Republicans out just yet. Remember when Reagan kicked Carter's and Mondale's asses and Bush 41 did the same with Dukakis? People wrote off the Dems back then -- as they did when Gingrich and Dubya came to power with their "permament Republican majority." Fortunately, that did not last and the Dems came back. It could happen with them, too. The stake isn't quite through the heart, it's just close enough to a major artery to cause sever hemorrageing.

[David]

Considering that the GOP's current base consists of the Carolinas, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, Louisiana, Kentucky (i.e., the Confederacy minus a state or three), plus some thinly populated states out West, maybe it's time to "re-brand" the party. Methinks they should pay homage to their sainted Strom Thurmond and dust off the old Dixiecrat Party label. It'd be truth in packaging, after all.

[The Penguin]

Dixiepubs? Dixiecans? The Dixie Chicks may object.

[Patrick]

Or maybe you progressives should pay homage to your progressive hero, Senator Byrd...the only living member of Congress who was also a member of the Ku Klux Klan.

And oh by the way, the Democrats were the party of the confederacy.

And if I did have a blog it would bore you people because it doesn't have idiotic factless arguments while being riddled with swearwords and sophomoric reasoning skills.

[Patrick]

btw, it looks like the Clark County School Board is spending taxpayer money on the teacher's union...is it cronyism or corruption?

You decide.

[Patrick]

Gleaner: Republicans are the party of nonsensical right-wing nuttery bloviating ideolgues who want to deregulate everything and throw us to the wims of elitist bloodsucking gamblers.

Patrick: Um...Republicans expanded the federal regulations by 5,000 pages and increased the number of federal regulators by 90,000 workers and the last major deregulation rule was signed by Clinton, oh by the way, Bush raised tariffs on steel and cut short international trade negotiations.

Gleaner: Republicans are mindless wingnut zealots with a dead ideology and nice haircuts, we can make fun of them forever because they are stupid.

Gleaner fanboys: Oh my gosh, the Gleaner is so freaking smart, he's got all the facts, I'm so glad he's my only news source, because I can't imagine what goes on outside...it must be so stupid.

[Chuck Meth]

Patrick: Specious factoids spoon fed from Grover Norquist. Emoticon.

World: Zzzzzz

[Michael Green]

To start with Patrick, yes, indeedy, Democrats were the party of the Confederacy. And back then, there were even some Republicans who believed in racial equality. Times change.

OK, here's my crazy bipartisan scenario. Do we want Joe Lieberman in the GOP caucus? Actually, we'd rather have him in a nuthouse. But here's a theory for you: Obama tells Reid to let him keep a committee chairmanship, just a less crucial one. Then Obama gets to say he was fair even to those who oppose him, Lieberman is in a less crucial role, and he stays in the caucus. Might be worth considering.

Notwithstanding that I would like to send him to a deserted island where he might see his reflection in some water and ponder what he has become.

[Patrick]

They are neither specious or from Grover Norquist, but I am proud that people here know big words like Grover. Congrats.

Btw "Chuck" you committed a fallacy (again) which is particularly amusing sense you committed a fallacy while using the word specious.

Here is another word for you.

Owned.

[Nancy]

Ah - Dr. Green - there you go again giving credit to those who likely don't deserve it. Are you really of the belief that introspection is within Sen. Lieberman's capabilities? If so, when he lost the Democratic primary for the Senate he might have, well, introspected a bit, but instead he went right into "win at any price" mode and I think that is where he still lives. (But I love your optimism!)

[Patrick]

and still oh so accurate:

Gleaner: Republicans are the party of nonsensical right-wing nuttery bloviating ideolgues who want to deregulate everything and throw us to the wims of elitist bloodsucking gamblers.

Patrick: Um...Republicans expanded the federal regulations by 5,000 pages and increased the number of federal regulators by 90,000 workers and the last major deregulation rule was signed by Clinton, oh by the way, Bush raised tariffs on steel and cut short international trade negotiations.

Gleaner: Republicans are mindless wingnut zealots with a dead ideology and nice haircuts, we can make fun of them forever because they are stupid.

Gleaner fanboys: Oh my gosh, the Gleaner is so freaking smart, he's got all the facts, I'm so glad he's my only news source, because I can't imagine what goes on outside...it must be so stupid.

[Nancy]

God I liked this site better before Patrick decided to live here. Anyway, Penguin - how about Dixie conservatives aka Dixiecons

[Patrick]

Mike, last I heard there werent many Democrats interested in ending public and private programs that make distinctions and confer special rights soley based on race.

But yes times change.

[Patrick]

Nancy,

I think that is because people feel comfortable not having their ideas challenged.

Its difficult having an entire ideology based on feelings and not having a single correct fact to back them up.

That is postmodernism for ya.

Btw, I have nothing against people doing something because it feels like the moral and right thing to do. I have a problem when the thing they do produces the exact opposite result.

So what if your own ideology creates more poverty when put into action. Instead of objectivly looking at it, many of the fanboys on here will just name call, content to believe they're right and everyone else is wrong without bothering to be challenged by the thoughts and ideas of others.

Quite a comfortable life I suppose.

If I did that, I'd start a blog and call it the Gleaner too.