Obscure congressman pretends not to love Dick Cheney

Fresh off demanding that all the fire-breathing virgin-sacrificing extremist revolutionaries, er, the Republican class of '94, should be removed from office, cute trophy spouse and freshman War Party congressman Dean Heller is now blasting Vice President Dick Cheney for not knowing jack about energy.

Heller was in Alaska Tuesday with several other Republican members of Congress each of whom are orders of magnitude more important than he is. Given about 45 seconds to say something in a microphone, Heller said (from CQ, sub. req.):

If anything, going to Colorado and then up to Alaska I think we -- it reinforced one thing, and that is our energy policy here in this country is a three-legged stool. Has to be conservation. Has to be renewable energy. And it has to be additional sources of energy that we can bring to the table, here in America, in an environmentally safe way. And I think we can do all three."

If you do one without the other two, you'll fail. If you do two of them without the third, you're going to fail. You have to do all three of them.

Thank you very much for those inspirational words Mr. Blond Backbencher. Most holistic.

But who's going to tell that nice Mr. Cheney?

As some people -- say, the Republicans like John Sidney McCain III who are blaming Democrats for American energy policy -- may remember, Cheney spearheaded the energy policy that would be followed by Republicans for the next several years way back in 2001 after a series of high-level meetings with the American Petroscum Association.

In a major address detailing Republican energy policy, Cheney pish-poshed solar and other renewable sources as "years down the road." And "Conservation may be a sign of personal virtue," Cheney added, the Cheney inspiration controls dialed up to turbo, "but it is not a sufficient basis for a sound, comprehensive energy policy."

Gosh, who can we believe -- an obscure backbencher or the most horrific monster ever to serve in the United States government?

Ha, gotcha -- it's a false choice. Neither one of them can be believed, as Heller was in Alaska to promote drilling drilling drilling because if he says that over and over again oil company fat cats will give him lots of campaign contributions, and all that nattering on about conservation and renewables is just stuff Republicans say but don't really mean. Which is to say Heller is still adhering to Republican energy policy -- as lovingly crafted by Cheney back in the day.

Comments

[CollegeStudent]

An astoundingly deep metaphor for the blond bombshell. Where did he come up with that?

Oh, you know what, I bet they sit on three-legged stools in the back row of congress, you know, the one underneath the balcony so you can never see it on C-SPAN.

[Michael Green]

I continue to wait eagerly for Dean Heller's first idea.

[temujin... khan of the yakka mongols]

Two oilmen walk into the Whitehouse when oil was 20 dollars a barrel.....Eight years later two oilmen leave the Whitehouse when oil is 200 dollars a barrel...?????

[temujin... khan of the yakka mongols]

I thought three legged stools were for milking....(tee hee hee)...!!

[Ro-Man XP-47]

As succinct and accurate a description of Old Five Deferments as I've seen anywhere. Remoras like Heller are a dime a dozen, but Cheney is a rare creature, a slithering cartoon with the mind, heart and soul of a deer tick. Please, please, when he's popped, let it be on camera.

[happykid]

To Michael: You might be waiting a long, long, long time for anything of any use from Dean Heller. But good luck! : )

[Michael Green]

If I get to live until that happens, I may make it to age 500.

[Gleaner]

"...I may make it to age 500."

Then McCain could pick you as his running mate to add some youth to the ticket.