'Crazy Jewish billionaire' hell-bent on world domination, magazine learns

The New Yorker has published one of it's eleventy-jillion-word profiles, and the subject is none other than Southern Nevada's very own warmongering bitchy little megalomaniac, Sheldon Adelson. So now Sheldon will have to sue the New Yorker. Meantime, fun and interesting items from the story include but are not limited to:

• The American Israeli Public Affairs Committee, or Big Jewry, has also discovered that Adelson is a bitchy little megalomaniac.
• Adelson is a "crazy Jewish billionaire."
• Before Bush and the Republicans killed the global economy Adelson used to make a million dollars an hour.
• MGM Mirage poohbah Terry Lanni fancies himself to be slightly less bitchy and megalomaniacal than Adelson.
• When “guys like me succeed by stepping on the broken backs of employees and other people,” Adelson is merely exercising “philosophies and ideals that we adhere to very scrupulously."
• The best thing about Adelson might be that he brings out the best thing about Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman - hizzoner doesn't cross the picket line to go to the Venetian.
• Sheldon's newspaper in Israel aspires to the journalism standards established in the U.S. by Roger Ailes, Brit Hume and Sean Hannity.
• "I am the richest Jew in the world."
• Sig Rogich' s job with the McCain campaign is to make sure that Adelson knows McCain is a Zionist sympathizer. Sig Rogich's job with Adelson is to make sure McCain knows that Adelson only gives money to Zionist sympathizers.
• Controlling the state of Nevada and its governor is such a small part of Adelson's overall worldwide domination plot that it doesn't even warrant a mention.
• Adelson is smothering Israel with his love!

Comments

[Pedro]

I wonder if Adelson would pay for your trip to Denver?

You should shoot him an email.

[CollegeStudent]

Dear Gleaner,
Thanks for reading it so I don't have to. Its not that I am against reading or The New Yorker, but everytime I try I just end up distracted by the cartoons.
And besides, who has the time, or the eyesight. Did you see how small that print is?
On that note, Sheldon shouldn't be too pissed and rest assured that unless there's a BIG PRINT edition, McCan't won't be able to read it.

[Not Bob]

"I am the richest Jew in the world."

Well, you sure as hell aren't the best looking.

Big Jewry, thats good.

BTW, I was consulting last night one of the great masterpieces of American thought, on AMC (don't pretend you weren't watching "History of the World, Part I" also) and scrolling through the NYer profile ...and was struck by a thought -- if Mel Brooks would have cast it, Harvey Korman would have been incredible as feh Sheldie, and Marilyn Kaan would have been brilliant as his wife.

[texexnv@gmail.com]

Off subject but really,really, ROTFLMAO!

What Congressional candidate is is missing from this picture? And missing from this list?

For extra bonus points, which Congressional candidate's wifey got on a Pony Express horse and rode right past the other candidate's house garnering national attention?

[Judy]

Speaking of old Harry........

[Vegas Quixote]

Have Mr. Adelson's lawyers called you yet?

[Edna Cameltoe]

10 bucks Israel attacks Iran before the election and that elects McCain.

Perhaps some Congressional candidates are in, oh, I dunno, Washington, D.C. during the week doing the job they were elected to do?