PorterthePuppet.com

Tessa Hafen, who will be unseating Mike Slanker, er, Jon Porter in Nevada's 3rd Congressional District this November, has posted a website highlighting but some of the many reasons Porter's looming defeat will be so very, very well-deserved.

PorterthePuppet.com draws on one of Hafen's best lines -- Porter votes with Bush 90 percent of the time, so that's nine votes for George Bush, one vote for Nevada. The site, with graphic assistance, pounds some points pretty effectively -- for instance, who knew gas was getting that expensive. And say, Porter did vote for that energy bill that Cheney whipped up to Ken Lay's specifications. And gosh, Porter has received enough campaign contributions from the oil and gas industry to buy, like, three brand new gas-guzzling Hummer H2s.

The site explains that In his capacity as go-along get-along good little Republican puppet, Porter has also bedded down with various other nefarious industrial characters, including the HMOs and Big Pharma, as well as the giant corporate lenders who have been making a killing on student loans.

And we don't know whether to be flattered or concerned; on the one hand, Porterthepuppet.com lifts our favorite euphemism for Porter -- "Tom DeLay's Man in Nevada," and the Hafen folks have unearthed the all-important photo of Porter and Delay together, a photo that we didn't find despite a couple of attempts. On the other hand, Hafen's website attributes the "Tom DeLay's Man in Nevada" line to the Gleaner, and we sort of wish that it had been coined by a more, um, reputable source. Oh well.

Porterthepuppet.com is a Load.com production. They're the same folks who do gubernatorial candidate Jim Gibson's web work, and who made the Dina Titus Star Wars cartoon that was well-received by just about everybody (except Dina Titus), as well as the immigration cartoon that, well, wasn't. Hopefully, a Porter cartoon is in the works, and hopefully it'll have more in common with Load's Titus piece than its Aliens piece.

Hafen's site is complementary to, derivative of or perhaps simply on message with the earlier Porter the Puppet animation piece at the NVDems site. Those of you who are understandably terrified of puppets should overcome your fears, like we did, and visit both sites.

But we ask: How much longer must we persevere these mean-spirited attacks on the nice congressman before someone acknowledges what is by far the most towering achievement of Porter's brief and soon-to-be-terminated congressional career -- his band? We envision a hipster Porter, soulfully banging away at his keyboard, admiring groupies looking on, as in the background evildoers sneak uninspected containers of WMD through a system weakened by perennial House Republican refusal to adequately fund port security. Too much, too busy? That's why we mostly stick to text.

Anyway, it's all fun and games now. But just wait until "Porter Campaign 3: The Wrath of Slanker" hits the screens. Betcha Darth Slanker tries to blame Tessa Hafen for Harry Reid's boxing tickets. Which is to say when Porter goes, it just might be with a whimper instead of a bang.